The List

The List.png

Have you ever made a list of what you wanted your significant other to bring to the table? If so, why? If not, why haven’t you? They say when you know what you want, you will obtain that very thing. It is important to be precise, know who you are, and of course make sure you can also bring that same thing to the table.  This isn’t a list of perfection because no one is perfect, but it may give you some insight as to what you want from someone and/or what it is they lack when it comes to a relationship.

I found myself asking a few friends and associates the same question... “What are the top five things your significant other must possess?” Many said different things like ambition, trust, morals/values, good in bed, loyalty, etc. Amongst those questioned, the majority of women said honesty/loyalty, while for men it was ambition.

I wasn’t surprised by the responses, but I was surprised by the commonality amongst genders. I asked a few of the guys why ambition is important to them. One said in short:

“For me, ambition is important because I want to see my lady have/want something of her own! I don’t believe any man wants a lazy woman and vice versa!...but a man just wants to see a woman with some business and goals about herself. Ambition is very attractive because it shows that you want BETTER for yourself and not that you want be given better for yourself! Show that you’re willing to earn it.” - Jamal

I totally agree and see why it is an attractive trait and why so many of the men said ambition is one of their top five. I know for me, I find it extremely attractive for a man to have dreams and goals they want to come to fruition. Now we all know trust/loyalty is something we want everyone to have, but apparently for the ladies it’s the number one thing! I mean, why shouldn’t it be? We all want someone we can trust. One of the ladies questioned said this about why trust is on their top five:

“Honesty is important because you've got to be real with yourself before you can be real with someone else. It creates openness and less problems to deal with” - Tiara

Trust is something that can be easily lost and hard to gain. Be real and honest with yourself so you can be real and honest with others. The whole point of this research was to shed some light on how we all value ourselves as well as how we all challenge and/or settle in life. You don’t have to make a list, but it is good to do so in order to know what you truly want and maybe that can help you change for the better. 

Remember, we are all growing and changing and I’m sure what we currently have on our “list” about love, career, material things, etc. will change. So enjoy life, take care of yourself, and remember to love one another.

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Zoë​ MarieComment